Monday, March 31, 2014

The Gift of Giving...

A small gesture… something to let someone know you’re thinking of them. I have been reminded several times throughout the past year how significant a gesture can be. Simple things like a call, a text, an email or a gift from family or friends – they have the ability to make your day that much brighter.

Back in January of this year, I received an email from my mother in law saying that she had been thinking of me and was sending a surprise my way. She ended her email with one of my favorite Bible verses, Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” A couple of days later I opened the mailbox to find a package from The Giving Keys with my name on it. Inside was a delicate key bracelet with the word ‘Fearless’ etched onto its surface. The receipt noted that she had ordered the bracelet to have the word ‘Faith’ inscribed on it but instead they had accidentally sent a different word. I then realized that the lovely verse that my mother in law had included in the email was about faith because the bracelet she was sending was to represent the same message.  She offered to have it fixed but it occurred to me that ‘Fearless’ is actually a perfect word for me to wear during a season when I have found that I let my fears sneak up and get the best of me far too often. And if you think about it, to have faith is to be fearless…maybe it was packaged wrong for a reason…perhaps it was packaged right all along.

If you haven’t heard of The Giving Keys: They have a sort of pay it forward philosophy. They are an organization that employs those who are trying to transition out of homelessness. These people that they employ are the ones who work on the key engravings for bracelets, necklaces and other products. The keys each have one word on them ranging from courage to love to strength. And there’s even an option to put a custom word on the key if you have something specific in mind. The idea is that you wear the key and the message that it bears until you encounter someone who you think needs that message. You then give it to the next person who wears it until they feel someone else needs it more than they do… and so on.

It’s a pretty rad give-give win-win concept: The Giving Keys gives a homeless person employment, this person gains self-confidence, independence and an income while spending their days putting positive messages on keys, the keys are then sent out all over the country and are purchased by someone who either needs/wants the message for themselves or who knows someone who could use it, the key is worn and serves as a daily reminder of that message, and then one day the key holder encounters someone else who they feel needs that message and they give the key to them…

Having been on the receiving end of a Giving Key I can tell you that it was such a sweet surprise to receive that gift. And it makes it that much sweeter to have received something that represents and supports such a positive movement.

I’m looking forward to the day when I encounter the opportunity to give my key to someone else who may need it…who knows how far it may travel and who it may help along the way.



Read more about The Giving Keys here:


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

More than words...

We have all been through some trials, some pain or some loss in our lives – big or small. We all deal with them differently and we all work through them in our own ways. My mom passed an article along to me today written by Jason Gray that talks about grief, struggle and the way that we try to deal with each other’s anguish in those sometimes challenging moments when there are really no words to say.

The article talks about how people often feel the need to placate the person who is going through a dark time with “it’ll be okay” or “it’s all for the best” type of responses and feedback. These are not wrong things to say and they come from a place of good intention. That being said I recall a conversation that I had a while ago about this very topic. We were discussing how frustrating it is to be that person in a dark place and how very equally frustrating it must feel to be the people who are trying to understand and support that person.

We discussed how those positive and kind words that so quickly and easily flow from people’s mouths in times of despondency sometimes end up doing more harm than good after a while. If you’re that person who’s been through hell and who feels like no one understands – those words may not lift you up – but instead they may push you further down. In these situations, I think that some people feel the quick and kind words only reinforce how little others understand what they are going through. Sadly, I think that’s how many people slip into their darkness even further. Afraid to bring it up or to let it dwell on the surface because it makes others uncomfortable or upset that they can’t help them get through it faster or help them see the silver lining.

I have always tried to focus my writing on this site about great opportunities to help others through their struggles, to be that reason that someone gets through – and I maintain that intention. But I think it’s important to recognize that there are many ways to help someone through a tough time. I believe that some people absolutely benefit from words of encouragement, positive feedback and good advice coming from others. These people may be encouraged by the optimistic support and the hopeful things that others say to them throughout their struggle.

But I think articles like this also shed light on an important alternative to consider: not everyone is the same and some people may need something entirely different to get them through their dark time. These people may not need you to tell them how to fix the problem, they may not need an “it will all be okay”…maybe these people just need you to sit with them in their sadness or anger for a while – to let them know that they aren’t alone and that you’ll be there regardless.

The article is fairly brief and worth the read: http://www.rabbitroom.com/2014/03/not-right-now/

The song that goes hand in hand with it is merits a listen as well. I’ll link the video below but in case it stops being accessible – the lyrics are there too. 


You could see the smoke from a mile away
And trouble always draws a crowd
They want to tell me that it’ll be okay
But that’s not what I need right now
Not while my house is burning down


I know someday
I know somehow
I’ll be okay
But not right now


Tell me if the hope that you know is true
Ever feels like a lie even from a friend
When their words are salt in an open wound
And they just can’t seem to understand
That you haven’t even stopped the bleeding yet


I know someday
I know somehow
I’ll be okay
But not right now


Don’t tell me when I’m grieving
That this happened for a reason
Maybe one day we’ll talk about the dreams that had to die
For new ones to come alive
But not right now


I know someday
I know somehow
I’ll be okay
But not right now


While I wait for the smoke to clear
You don’t even have to speak
Just sit with me in the ashes here
And together we can pray for peace
To the one acquainted with our grief


I know someday
I know somehow
I’ll be okay
But not right now

(Jason Gray - Album: Love Will Have the Final Word)